Happily Roommates
by TinkerTodo
Summary: One mansion. One girl. Twelve guys. What could possibly go wrong?
1. Chapter 1

Disclaimer: We, Tamster and Valentine Satiguss, swore under the allegiance with our fellow CCS fanfic writers so it is hereby stated that we shall never own thy Clamp's dear CCS.

x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x

Oh. My. God.

Three stories high. The house… or rather the MANOR had three story floorplans ranging 4,000 square feet at the least.

"Are you sure you drove to the right address?"

I blinked again.

Woah. That was one big house.

I specifically asked Dad for a small house. Even better, an apartment.

I didn't care if he just became the CEO of his company. I will not be some Daddy's girl who's going to let him pay for everything.

I was transferring to a new high school as a sophomore. After sadly leaving all my friends in Tokyo and having to Tomoedo ALONE, I should at least get what I asked for.

A small house was perfectly fine.

However, a BIG house was not perfectly fine.

"Yes, indeedy. Miss, you are one lucky girl."

Spanish and Tuscan architecture. 7,200-square-foot terraced homesites with scenic mountain views.

"Are you really sure this is the right house?" I questioned the taxi driver again.

Please tell me he drove me to the wrong place.

"Real sure, Miss. Boy-oh! You're living pretty high. Any chance I'd get a big tip?"

Readers will find the protagonist of this fanfiction to be gaping, yes, I do mean G-A-P-I-N-G.

Readers will find the protagonist of this fanfiction to have wide eyes.

Readers will also find the protagonist of this fanfiction to be almost speechless.

That… residence had to cost at least 5,000,000 dollars.

…

Maybe even more than that.

"Oh Mr. Taxi Man!" I happily inquired. "Are you sure that this is really the right house?"

The man got out of the taxi and rolled his eyes. He was beginning to get irritated. "Miss, I took your bags out of my taxi. You're out of my taxi. I followed the stinking piece of paper with the address on it. You're at the right place."

Dad, you are going down.

"Thanks for driving, sir."

"No prob, Miss. Glad I could be of service."

With that as a farewell, the man drove his taxi into the distant horizon.

Oooo. Dad was so going to pay.

Quickly, I snatched out my cell phone and dialed for my dearest father.

"Hello?"

"DAD!!!"

I heard a chuckle from the other line. "I take it that you're at your house."

"Dad, you're using the wrong term. This isn't a house. It's a MANSION. I hate it."

"Sakura-chan, it'll be fine. I even hired a butler, mad and person cook—"

"DAD!!!"

"—so that all you'll have to do is focus on your studies and have fun with your friends."

"Dad, the manor is just too big. I got nobody for a roommate. The least you could have done was bought me an appropriate sized house."

A sigh came from Daddy-kins. "Well, that's what school is for. You'll make new friends and possibly new roommates along the way."

"Dddddddddddaaaaadddddddddd!!!!!"

"Sakura-chan, you'll survive. You'll do fine. Actually, you'll be probably be pampered," he responded to my whining. The old man laughed at his own words. "Many girls would kill to be given what you've got."

I pouted. "But I'm not like many girls. I want to live like an independent and normal person."

"Now now now. Your brother's not going to be around you as much since he's at college now. I'm still in Tokyo. You're going to be on your own. Isn't that independent?"

With a maid? A butler? And a cook?

Heck no.

"Now, I'm going to go. I've got a meeting and if I don't hang up now, I'll be late. Be a good girl and do your best. I'll call you once a week to make sure you're doing okay. Bye bye, Sakura-chan!"

"Wait! WAIT! DAD??!!!"

"But the line was already dead.

I groaned.

Just because of my dad's pampering, I was going to be in a surprise.

A surprise involving 12 roommates.

12 _male_ roommates.

Welcome to Sakura Kinomoto's life.

Welcome to my life.

x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x

Okie, guys.

The review button is right there.

Please and thank you's!


	2. The Holy Fork

Disclaimer: We like drinking Powerade. We like being sugar high. We dislike saying the disclaimer.

A.N.: This chapter's gonna be long.

x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x

This sucked.

"And to your left, that's the hallway connecting all the bedrooms---"

"How many bedrooms are there?" came the innocent question.

"Oh… well… there are about…" the nervous maid known as Naoko stopped speaking and paused, perhaps preparing for my response.

Note: She was the head of thirteen maids, five butlers, and two chefs. (What the hell ever happened to just one butler, maid and chef?!)

She witnessed my all-powerful wrath and screams after the phone call with dearest Daddy-kins.

She also witnessed my all-powerful wrath and screams after she told me that there was a pool and Jacuzzi in the backyard. The pool came with a nice, big, ol' diving board, too.

Anything I said went because I was his boss's easily-angered-and-irritated kid.

Who wouldn't be nervous in her shoes?

She uttered the number ever so quietly.

"Thirteen."

THIRTEEN?????!!!!!!!????

Okay. So the tour of my new mansion wasn't exactly so pleasant or quiet.

x-x-x

"…and that's the end of the tour," concluded Naoko.

"Thanks," I replied sarcastically as we walked down the spiral stairway.

"Oh! And Miss?"

I looked at Naoko with a bored expression while still going down the stairs.

"Yes?"

She pulled out an envelope from her apron pocket. "Here. Mr. Kinomoto told me to give it to you as soon as possible."

"Dad sent me a letter?" Usually, the old man just called me.

She seemed fearful to answer almost as if even one little thing could upset me. Naoko was one odd maid.

"Um… no. It's… it's from your brother. Toya Kinomoto?"

Oh.

Well, that changed everything.

Too bad there weren't any matches around.

I ripped the envelope open and apprehended the letter inside.

x-x

To the one I call a monster and squirt,

Father only planned on buying you a cute and cozy house with a butler, maid, and cook. You must forgive him. When I discovered what he was about to purchase, I could not help but change his plans. I could just imagine the joy on your face right now. Your beloved older brother has taken the liberty to rearrange everything. It's more room for you to roam about like a monkey but please do try to not break anything. I even added a couple extra maids and butlers to take care of the housework.

No need to thank me,

Toya

p.s. Those people I hired are stuck for good as long as I say so.

x-x

My feet were firmly placed on the marble floor by the time I finished reading the letter.

Okay…

I had got to be dreaming.

Proceeding with the pinching on the arm.

"OUCH!"

"Miss? Are you alright?" Naoko worriedly asked, confused by the girl pinching herself before her.

"Yeah, I'm okay."

**DING DONG DING DONG**

Naoko smiled. "Lovely! Guests already! Let's hope they're nice." she exclaimed.

Naoko quickly ran off towards the door.

I wondered who it could be.

Maybe it was Dad. He could have come to apologize that this manor was a sick joke and I was moving into a little, nice apartment.

Maybe it was Toya. Dad could be busy and he could was going to explain that it was one of his stupid pranks.

Mayb---

"SAKURA KINOMOTO! OH MY GOSH! IT'S BEEN FOREVER!"

Or maybe it was Tomoyo Daidouji, an old friend and cousin.

Eh. This house may not be that bad after all.

x-(at Clamp High)-x

"I can't believe you're living here, Sakura!"

"Well, believe it. I am."

"But seriously! I never thought that I'd ever, ever, ever, EVER, see you again!"

"Me too, Tomoyo. Me, too."

"OH. MY. GOD. This'll just be like old times! We'll hang out together, go shopping together---"

Okay. Let's rewind it up a bit and go over some facts about the excruciatingly ecstatic, raven-haired, and amethyst-eyed girl walking around with me at Clamp High, a.k.a. the school I transferred to.

Meet Tomoyo Daidouji.

She's smart, pretty, and filthy rich. She's also my cousin and best friend. The girl left Tokyo when I was in 8th grade. Her mother was the owner of Daidouji's, the all time famous department store.

Think of it as Macy's in Japan. Yeah. It's that good.

Tomoyo's mother decided to move her headquarters to Tomoeda, since that place was where L.A. reincarnated itself into Japan.

"--- and we just HAVE to get you as my model! I mean, come on, Sakura! You look good. I've got tons of new designs for my winter's line just dying for someone decent to model in them. Eek! I could just see it now. A brocade strapless beaded empire dress with a bubble hem. Oh! And it must absolutely be pink. You are like the idol for all pink dresses, Sakura! Really, you are. It'll be perfect!" exclaimed Tomoyo.

Did I mention that she's the designer of Daidouji's own clothing line, T.D.? Tomoyo's sixteen and she already has the dream job as a successful designer.

I used to model clothes for her. Now that she and I are now together and best friends forever again, I'm doomed.

Currently, she was talking about how I'll be murdered by being suffocated with her newly designed cocktail dresses. I nearly drowned in a sea of them at her house earlier. She even lived right next to me from now on. It's the mansion on the left. You know? The one with the light-purple walls?

Tomoyo was also giving me a tour of the school during her lunch break.

It was Friday. I was supposed to start next Monday but my best friend insisted that I should at least have a tour of the school by hers truly.

After a bit, we finally sat down in the cafeteria for lunch.

"Hey Sakura?" Tomoyo asked before stuffing down a piece of apple pie down.

"Yes?"

"Who's living with you?"

"My domestic workers."

She rolled her eyes and pointed a fork at me. "Besides them?"

"Nobody."

The girl sitting in front of me gasped. "Seriously?"

"Yeah," I replied. "That's all."

She laughed with an odd twinkle in her eye. "How many extra rooms are at there?"

"Twelve."

And just with a single number, the fun began.

So, this was Day 1.

While ignoring the fact that the mind of a mad woman was plotting my death, I accidentally dropped my fork to the floor underneath the table. I ducked down and reached towards it.

During my quest to retrieve the holy utensil, there were three male voices talking to Tomoyo. I chose to ignore them.

Ignoring them was the worst decision I had ever made in my entire life.

Because, Tomoyo asked me with my head still underneath the table, "Sakura? Do you mind if I introduce you to some of my friends?"

Oooo. I should have said no but instead, I said yes and nodded my head.

Do not, I repeat, do not nod your head under a table.

And do you know why?

Because, boys and girls, your head will crash into the table.

"OUCH!"

I took my head out of its painful visit to the fork.

There, I found out that I was sandwiched between three (hot) guys. Two guys on my left and one on my right.

Tomoyo smiled as innocently as an angel.

Hottie on the right said, "I'm Hyue Noom."

Hotties on the left pointed to each other and said in unison, "We're the Etisoppo Twins. He's Famelle (guy with faint, red highlights) and he's Diluq (guy with faint, blue highlights)."

I'm going to stop the fanfiction and go over some facts about the three boys who, by the way, are poking and staring at me.

Meet Hyue Noom (he's the hottie on my right).

The guy looked like he was in his twenties but he's the same age and a sophomore. Messy, silver hair framed his face. He had steel blue eyes, making him look even cooler. Huey was tall and had a very stern expression. Huey looked like he never smiled.

Next, meet the Etisoppo Twins. They're both blonde except the different colored-highlights. Famelle had red highlights while Diluq had blue highlights. Both were tall (but not as tall as Huey) and had the same, evil glint in their eyes as Tomoyo. They looked like pranksters to me.

Now, back to me being inspected and poked at.

"Tomoyo?" I asked. "Why the hell are three strangers poking me?"

The idiotic girl giggled. "They're making sure you're okay."

"For what?"

Tomoyo opened her mouth to speak but the twins beat her to it.

"Tomoyo, you're good."

"Tres good. I mean, she's perfect."

"Really perfect. She's drug-free, pretty and from the looks of it, witty."

"Oui. We'll happily accept your offer."

"C'est bonne."

And then together, "WE LOVE OUR MISTRESS ALREADY!"

…

A miss-what?

I glanced over to Hyue's direction.

He nodded at Tomoyo, crossed his arms, and said flatly, "She's fine with me."

I looked at Tomoyo with a big, BIG, question mark. "Tomoyo?"

The _seemingly_ clueless girl replied, "Yes, Sakura?"

"What the hell is going on?"

She giggled. Yeah, you heard me. She _giggled_ while the Etisoppo Twins somehow ended up with each of them on both of my side and were currently hugging me.

One uttered the word "cute" and the other said "oui."

They apparently had a French mother and a Japanese father. That explained their accents.

"Seriously? Who are you guys?"

"You haven't told her yet? Sheesh," said Hyue.

Both twins gasped. "Ooo. Bad Tomoyo! You should tell her now," said Famelle.

"You should really tell her now," echoed Diluq.

"Really, really tell her."

"Really, really, really tell her."

They were really, really, really, really getting on my last nerves.

Tomoyo smiled, opened her mouth and without any further interruptions, she finally answered my question.

"Silly, they're your new roommates."

xxxxxxxxxxxxx

Three down. Nine to go. Which roommate will show up next?

Stay tuned for Happily Roommates' next chapter!

REVIEWS PURDY PLEASE!!!


	3. Mary Poppins Is Absent

Disclaimer: Val adores Hugh Laurie. Tamster adores BoA. We so don't adore saying the disclaimer. We also don't own the lyrics of Jingle Bells. The twins felt like twisting it a bit.

Tamster: NOW ON WITH THE CHAPITRE TROIS!! Enjoy yourselves. )

Valentine: Tamster. Stop procrastinating and figure something out for chapter 4.

Tamster: Nooooooo TT why me?!

xxxxxxxxxxxxx

Imagine it. Just imagine it.

A stage in a humongous auditorium.

A big applauding audience.

The principal of my school with a big trophy and medal in his hands.

Me walking towards the center of the stage for my shiny awards.

Oh yeah. Life was definitely good.

When I was being handed with the trophy, the principal smiled and turned towards the audience. "My fellow students, I am proudly here today to present this trophy and medal to none other than Sakura Kinomoto for her astounding performance in the last track race! She is clearly the greatest athletic girl of Clamp High. May you all applaud and bow before her superiority!"

The audience chanted in agreement, "ALL HAIL SAKURA KINOMOTO!!"

I had fans.

"Thank you, thank you! I am absolutely honored to receive this award," I said.

The principal then turned to the crowd once again and announced, "Now, this is a very special day for Ms. Kinomoto but there is a quick announcement before you all continue on showering her with praise and glory."

Everybody suddenly became silent and waited for the principal's news.

He cleared his throat and leaned in towards the microphone.

Then came the pause to stress the drama.

At last, he opened his mouth and said, "There is nothing better than Sakura Kinomoto's excellence but I must remind you that it's very important to---"

"**JOY TO THE WORLD! LET'S HACK DOWN THE WALL!"**

Immediately, everything around me disappeared. I blinked and found myself on my king-sized bed.

There went the pretty trophy.

**BAM**

**BOOM**

**BAM**

It was 4:35 a.m.

This was how Day 2 began.

p.s. Sakura Kinomoto was never a morning person.

Did you hear that?

N-E-V-E-R.

xxx

After following the sounds of the saws, hammers, and occasionally, two _incredibly _off-tune voices singing Christmas carols (but of course, with their own lyrics), I found myself in front of the Etisoppo Twins' rooms.

**BAM**

**BOOM**

**BAM**

I turned the doorknob open and went inside Diluq's room.

Now, what was behind Door Number 1?

_A/N: (To the tune of Jingle Bells)_

"**CHOPPING THROUGH THIS WALL!"**

"**IN A BIG, THREE-STORIED HOUSE!"**

Behind Door Number 1 are Diluq and Famelle.

"**OVER THIS BARRIER WE GO!"**

"**BEING AS QUIET AS A MOUSE!"**

People of the world, these two guys were not your average twins.

In Diluq's corner, he's got a saw, goggles and a terrible singing voice.

In Famelle's corner, he had an axe, goggles, and a singing voice that was exactly like Diliuq's.

They were both trying to destroy a wall.

Okay…

"**JINGLE SAWS! JINGLE AXES!"**

"**JINGLE ALL THE WAY!"**

Where the hell is Mary Poppins in a crisis like this?

I'll pay her double to come.

"**OH WHAT FUN IT IS TO SMASH!"**

"**IN DILUQ'S BIG, FANCY OL' ROOM!"**

I repeat. I'll pay her _triple_ to come.

"FAMELLE AND DILUQ! PUT THE TOOLS ON THE FLOOR AND PUT YOUR HANDS IN THE AIR!" I screamed.

And do not wave them like you just don't care.

Both suddenly dropped their weapons to the floor, took off their goggles, and turned their heads towards me.

I sighed in relief.

"Well, that was rude," stated both of the twins.

EXCUSE ME?

I glared at them.

"Hi-ya, Christmas carolers! Did you know that Christmas is a couple months away?" I asked.

The twins nodded.

"Did you know that it's four in the morning?"

The twins nodded again.

"Did you know that your mistress isn't a morning person and uh is there a logical reason for destroying a perfectly good wall?"

A nod again.

Famelle replied, "Mon frere and I decided that it was just too painful to be separated."

Their rooms were right next to each other.

"So we decided to take these tools that we found downstairs and began to smash that horrible wall down. It's a smashing success so far."

I think they were literally smashing.

"Well, whatever. I don't care. You're not going to destroy that wall."

"Non, but we must!"

"Um, no you're not"

"Yes. Yes we are. Now, as cute as you may look when you're upset, we're going to have to ask you to vamoose out of the room."

"What?"

"You heard us, madamoiselle. Leave."

With that, I got kicked out of the room and into the hallway. Ignoring the two great Christmas Carolers, I went back to my room and tried to gain some sleep.

**CRASH**

Okay. Forget what I just said.

That crashing noise? Yeah. Guess what? I followed the noise towards a room.

Take a guess whose room it is.

Did anybody say Hyue?

And when that door opened, what did I see?

Why, it was Hyue with a bow and a sack of arrows.

**CRASH**

As soon as I came in, he shot an arrow at a plate right next to me.

Okay. "WHAT IN THE WORLD ARE YOU DOING?!"

I guess I was in a bad mood that day. If somebody can sleep through plates crashing and a wall tumbling down while maintaining a GOOD mood, let me know and I'll personally cook them pancakes for free.

Hyue continued to shoot.

**CRASH**

"I'm shooting arrows to practice for the tournament coming up."

"AND YOU'RE USING PLATES AT FOUR IN THE MORNING?"

Why couldn't he use an apple or something!?

"Yes," he replied dully. "I need to shoot at the center of the plate. Aiming needs work."

"Well, I don't care. You're going to have to stop."

"No, I'm not."

"Give me a good reason why."

"I'll shoot you if I can't shoot at the plates," Hyue said in a bored tone. He rolled his eyes. "Really. People are an easy target. It's very hard to not miss."

Okay. I was out of his room in record time.

**BAM**

**BOOM**

**BAM**

**CRASH**

With that kind of racket, I went downstairs for breakfast. There wasn't a use in trying to sleep anymore with an archer and two Christmas carolers upstairs.

When I was inside the kitchen, I saw somebody.

You'll never believe it.

Seriously.

It was out of the really deepest blue.

It was even better than seeing those evil twins abolish that unfortunate wall.

Really.

No joke.

A typical person would absolutely be surprised and delighted to find a total stranger cooking yummy pancakes.

Anybody who sensed that I was sarcastic, you get an imaginary cookie.

I walked up to the guy with an apron on (which said 'Dinner is ready when the smoke alarm goes off') and waved my hand in front of his face.

Then he turned his head away from the frying pan and spoke.

"Hello, Sakura."

"Hello, completely unknown stranger who's using the stove in my manor. Have you ever heard of the police? They're very nice people to me."

He smiled.

"So you _are _the mistress," he chuckled.

Ah. He knew me. Great. Mr. Cook knew me.

"Okay. So you know me. Question is: Who are you?"

He chuckled again. "My name's Ryou."

Oh god.

"Why are you here?"

Insert Ryou's blank face. "You really _are _clueless, too. Man, Tomoyo was right."

Uh-oh.

"I'm your new roommate. I'm also going to be the cook around here. Tomoyo personally fired those chefs for you. She said that Sakura was going to but she just wanted to make your life easier," he happily explained.

Peachy. Now, it was time for intros.

Meet Ryou Tsuki. He was going to be the chef around here from now on. This guy's got purple hair pulled back into a ponytail. He wasn't that tall. Just average. Ryou also had purple eyes as well. He was also one of the casual type of guys with a normal sense of logic (unlike the twins).

"So……" I began. "I am really sorry. But I'm afraid there's been a miscommunication."

He arched an eyebrow. "Really?"

"Yeah… see, I don't need a new roommate."

"Oh. But you need a cook now, because Tomoyo fired all of them."

Damn.

"Yeah, but I'm sure I'll find someone."

"I think Tomoyo warned me about this," he laughed. "So, of course, I might as well do as she told me and convince you to let me stay."

"Look. There is nothing that can make me say---wait."

I eyed the plate he was suddenly holding. "Are those buttermilk pancakes?"

He nodded. "Yup. Four, fluffy, and savory pancakes smothered in strawberries and maple syrup. Want some?"

I snatched the plate away from him and ate a piece of the pancake.

Yyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyuuuuuuuuuuuuummmmmmmmmmmmmmmyyyyyyy.

So he was a good cook. "Fine. You can stay."

He smiled. "Thanks."

I headed towards the dining room to finish up these _really _good pancakes.

There, I found someone sitting in one of the chairs around the big table.

He glanced up to notice my presence.

Oh no.

He blinked.

And then a smile came across his face.

The exact, same replica of Tomoyo's smile.

Within seconds, he ran up to me and happily chirped, "OH MY GOD! YOU ARE CUTE!"

He was a guy on the outside, but a Tomoyo on the inside.

"I'M YOUR NEW ROOMMATE! THE NAME'S SHINO RENGI! TOMOYO WASN'T LYING WHEN SHE SAID YOU WERE CUTE."

Note to self: Murder that evil woman.

"CUTIE, I'VE JUST GOT TO TAKE YOUR MEASUREMENTS! I could just see it now," he said with stars in his eyes. "You, in the most adorable pink dress! With a matching hat! OH! And the shoes!"

Note to self again: Murder Male Tomoyo, too.

"You and I are going to get along great!"

Meet Shino Rengi. He was hot (apparently, every male in this manor was). Shino had smooth, short, and green hair. He was slightly tanned and wore dark jeans and a white shirt. This guy's the male clone of Tomoyo. He even came with the designer personality.

Joy. A male Tomoyo's just flipping awesome.

"YO COOKIE! (Apparently that was Ryou's nickname made by the twins) WHERE'S THE PANCAKES!" yelled a pair of twins who were running down the stairs and into the dining room.

"IN THE DINING ROOM!" screeched Ryou as he came into the dining room with five plates of pancakes.

Hyue was sprinting right behind the twins.

Finally, everybody was present and sat around the table.

All five looked at me.

I sighed. "So, is this everybody?"

All five nodded.

"Really?"

All five nodded.

…

"You all are only saying that because Tomoyo told you that, huh?"

All five nodded.

Why me?!

"Well then,"

"Let's eat!!!" replied both Famelle and Diluq.

x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x

Finally, we finished chapitre trois. Hopefully you guys liked this chapitre. Also plz review, it makes us and our adorable hamster army very happy.

P.S. Also, just letting you guys know once in a while in our profile, we'll try to post up a sneak preview of the upcoming chapters. So maybe wanna check out the profile once in a while. ;D

Well thank you for reading this chapitre, goodnite to you all, and have a nice week!! )


	4. Welcome to The Cat's Eye

**

* * *

**

**Author's Note:** In an attempt to remind myself that I was a roommate and **not** an experimental piggy, I, Sakura Kinomoto, have hereby created _Roommating For Idiots_, a rulebook for potential future roommates to read before possibly falling into the evil clutches of two diabolical twins.

Notice that the word '**not**' in '**not** an experimental piggy' is bolded.

So, to all you homeless people who want a nice and non-hazardous house with kind and loving roommates, please ignore the only yellow mansion at 221 Baker Street in Tomoeda, Japan and quickly hurry away to the nearest Wal-mart you can find (always trust Wal-mart because even its parking lot has surveillance cameras to scare off your soon-to-be-kidnapping-roommates).

p.s. This book contains five rules. Each rule includes one example as well.

* * *

**Title:** Roommating for Idiots 

**Author:** Sakura Kinomoto

* * *

_For anyone who has ever resented wearing pink collars _

_and for anyone who has ever wished that they had never given consent to leave Daddy's little, nice condo._

* * *

**Contents:**

Rule 1: How to Use Pancakes to Distract the Mistress 2

Rule 2: Twins Plus Miscommunication Equals Doom 13

Rule 3: When They Say "Bonjour," You Say "Au Revoir" 19

Rule 4: Scam Like Eggs at Breafast! 24

Rule 5: Avast, Me Maties and Down, We Go! 29

* * *

**Rule 1: Start to actually pay attention to your roommates (i.e. the dimwits sitting around you at the dining room) during the multiple conversations at breakfast, lunch, and dinner.**

**Merely nodding in agreement with others and occasionally saying "uh huh" will make your life a not-so-much-better living hell if you do not realize what the "uh huh" was agreeing to.**

**Exhibit A:**

**Time of Flashback:** Day 2. Saturday. Breakfast time. Between 7:38 a.m. and 9:24 a.m.

The following contains parts of the conversation that Sakura Kinomoto should have heard:

"Ooo. Monsieur Shino of the Tomoyo-Daidouji-Evil-Plots Association! Are we really going to an authentic Japanese mall?" asked the twins in astonishment.

"Yes, Frenchies," said Shino, co-president of the Tomoyo-Daidouji-Evil-Plots Association.

"YAY!"

There was a short pause and then the twins began talking again. "Why are we going to the mall today?"

Shino looked up for once from the fashion magazine and his sketch books on the dining table. He motioned the two foreigners to come closer.

Apparently, he was taking all precautions to make sure little Sakura did not know anything until it was too late for little Sakura to back out of the fun plans he had made for today.

Cheers for me.

When Shino whispered the information, the two twins were mouthed an 'o.' They understood. The two foreigners nodded in agreement towards Shino for his wisdom and godly greatness.

Shino then had a brilliant idea. Once again, he quickly whispered the information. The ingenious idea is not stated because the author (Sakura) had failed to listen hard enough to hear it. Instead, the superior heroine of this fanfic was currently admiring the little drops of maple syrup on her pancakes.

The twins grinned at the sound of that (hopefully) harmless idea.

This concludes to what Sakura Kinomoto should have at least heard.

Now, the following is what Sakura Kinomoto did hear:

Blah.

Blah blah.

Blah blah blah.

Tomoyo-Daidouji-Evil-Plots Association.

This concludes to what Sakura Kinomoto did hear.

So, I, Sakura Kinomoto, was in deep concentration to get a piece of pancake smothered in more maple syrup and as you can tell, my concentration was focused on food instead of my dear undisruptive friends.

"Oh, Sakura?" came Shino's voice to make me stop looking at the pancake.

"Yes?"

"What do you think of my glorious ideas?"

Your ideas sometimes make me afraid.

"Nani?"

"Good. The agreement is set. You and I have both come to a decision that my idea was fantastic."

Very, very afraid.

* * *

**Rule 2: Your roommates will have no mercy. Learn to not say anything that can convince, encourage, or give them any reasons to ignore your negativity.**

**Note: Through many observations, it is speculated that not talking at all can be a ****very**** good thing to do as well.**

**Exhibit B:**

**Time of Flashback: **Day 2. Saturday. Between 9:25 a.m. and 9:36 a.m.

"SAKURA-CHAN!!!!!!!" exclaimed the twins in union as they suddenly were sitting next to me. Famelle was on my left and Diluq was on my right.

Remember, Sakura. Do not say anything that suggests a reason for your roommates to do anything out of the ordinary.

"What now?"

"WE WANT A PET!"

"Didn't you call me your pet earlier?"

"But you refused to bring us our slippers this morning! That did not display pet-like qualities, n'est-ce pas?"

"It was 5:39 in the morning."

"MON DIEU! WE'VE GOT IT! Mistress Sakura?!"

Nothing out of the ordinary. Nothing out of the ordinary. Nothing out of the ordinary, please.

"What?"

"Will you wear a collar?"

That was perfectly normal. Okay, Diluq and Famelle can't be insane if they managed to get through airport security when they came to Japan. I'm normal too. So… so, the two morons can drone on as much as they wanted about me wearing a collar and it'll be okay.

"No," I nervously replied.

"It shall be pink!"

I like pink. Pink defined females of the human race. Accept the pink. Be pink.

…

What the hell am I saying?

"No, sickos," I retorted.

"Is there any way for us to convince you to wear a collar? You will look very cute."

Forget it. First thing on Monday, I'm going to call those loony bin doctors to come and take them away.

"Don't come talking to me unless I am bound, gagged and tied to a chair with no other option but to wear that darn collar in order to live," I snapped at them.

Monday was only… like… two days from now. I can last for two days.

"DONE! WE ACCEPT YOUR CHALLENGE!"

Two days. Just two days. Forty-eight hours and the world will be sane again. I can do this. I can totally do this.

Right?

* * *

**Rule 3: Do not believe that anyone will help you. **

**Remember, potential roomies, you are alone. You are left to fend for yourselves in a very large and extremely yellow mansion that now (as of Day 2) contains booby traps. **

**Booby traps and much worse things such as kidnapping can be expected to occur during one's stay at Sakura Kinomoto's residence due to roommates such as evil, identical foreign exchange students or fashion designer wanna-be's. **

**Exhibit C:**

**Time of Flashback: **Day 2. Saturday. Between 9:36 a.m and 9:51 a.m.

Five seconds after Diluq and Famelle screeched out something about a challenge, I bolted for the door.

Frankly, I didn't think that anyone in the right mind would want to know what two mischievous twins could do in a challenge.

But unfortunately, like everything else that had happened today, nothing was ever in my favor.

Just as I reached to turn the doorknob, Hyue was suddenly next to me.

"Hi, there," I nervously chirped at him.

"Yo," came the flat and unenthusiastic voice.

Hyue Noom was a rather tall and strong guy who appeared to be the type that usually could go all in-need-of-anger-management if I got on his bad side, so he wasn't what I'd call a personal friend.

He stared at me.

I glared at him. Come on, I had a right to glare at him. He was in the way of my ticket to my room and my room had a **lock** on its door. A lock can keep anything away from me.

…

Unless there are axes and saws involved but the twins already destroyed the ones in the mansion today so I was safe.

This staring and glaring thing went on for a good twenty-eight seconds before I realized that we both looked like weirdos.

I stopped glaring and turned my attention to the doorknob. The second I put my hand on it came Hyue's voice again.

"You don't want to do that."

_Sure. _

Ignoring Mr. Scary, I opened the door and I walked through it.

Turning back to look at Hyue, I waved my arms, did a poor imitation at moon walking, and laughed. "Am I in any mortal danger, Hyue? I think not," I happily beamed at him.

He shook his head and sighed. I saw no emotion on his face after the sigh. I raised an eyebrow and turned around.

I made a break for it and ran up the stairs. On the ninth step, I tripped over an invisible thread and fell down the stairs.

Down…

down….

and down I went until I hit the bottom of the stairs.

I landed on a net and was then the net propelled up itself with me in the air.

I was dangling in a net ten feet above the ground.

"HOE?!?!?!?!!!!!???"cried I.

Think fast, think fast.

Booby traps were not included in my tour of this house so… only doom awaited for me.

Great.

Everybody in the dining room now walked over towards me. I growled at them.

"Let me out **now**."

Shino rolled his eyes. Ryou shrugged at me and Hyue yawned. The twins grinned.

I do not like grinning twins.

"Tsk, tsk, Sakura," said Diluq.

"You really should have just stayed in your seat," Famelle told me.

I groaned. "Rawr, I'm a lethal girl. Release me and I'll spare your lives. Rawr, rawr," I said in my most menacing voice.

Nobody cowered in fear. All I heard was a bunch of laughter.

They lowered the net to the ground but I was not released.

"You, Sakura Kinomoto, are confined to a day to the mall with your fellow roomies. You will also be sentenced to wearing this very adorable pink collar because the twins installed a lot more booby traps in this manor. It was an attempt to get you to mingle with us without the need to get your consent (and was actually successful so I owe Hyue twenty bucks)," declared Shino as he held my supposed punishment in his right hand and a twenty-dollar bill in his left hand.

I burst into laughter.

"Yeah, right," I said. "You're not serious, are you? I don't even like going to the mall. Hey? You know what? We'll even take a vote. Who here wants to stay home?"

I raised my hand.

…

No one else raised their hands.

I looked at Ryou.

He shrugged. "There's… um… a big sale on some good cookbooks and… I kind of have a gift card from Tomoyo for making breakfast today... so, uh… sorry."

I looked at Shino.

Shino raised his eyebrow. "What? I want to buy more clothes. You seriously need an update on your fashion. Brown is not your color. Those shoes have got to go and when I say go, I mean speeding off faster than Buzz Lightyear. Pink and green is so much better for you."

Okay. Well, forget the twins. They're evil. Hyue didn't even say anything to me, took the money from Shino, and he gave me the 'Told Ya, Should a Listened to Me" look.

I growled again. "Am I seriously going to the mall with you guys?"

They all looked at each other before quickly chiming together in union.

"Yup!"

I eyed the net that prevented me from clawing out their eyes and groaned.

Boo you all.

* * *

**Rule 4: **

**If Superman can turn into the regular school boy sissy by being within twenty-five yards of a piece of Kryptonite and if Ron Weasley feels the need to bolt out of a classroom from seeing the eight-legged Arachnid-That-Must-Not-Be-Named, there is a good chance that your roommates have their own fears and weaknesses, too. **

**Find what they're afraid of. Find what makes them turn paler than milk. Find what'll make them crack.**

**Then, you use that juicy information against them (duh).**

**Exhibit D:**

**Time of Flashback: **Day 2. Saturday. Between 9:52 a.m. and 11:23 a.m.

Bound by an extremely itchy collar, I sat quietly in the limo. During the fifteen minute ride to Tomoeda Mall, I plotted for an escape plan.

So far, I had realized the following things:

1. Nobody was smart enough to lock the doors.

2. I was sitting next to the door.

3. I can run very fast when needed.

4. If I can distract Diluq and Famelle long enough, I can free my leash from their hands and then it's time for the fastest sprint of my life.

Currently, I looked out at the window while hearing many fragments of conversation. The mall was very close now and in another eight minutes, I must be prepared to break free (not like High School Musical though) out of my odd… um… friends.

"…really, Hyue, couldn't you point those arrows of yours at something less noisy? You're ruining my beauty sleep when I already have to put up with Tweedledum and Tweedledee's saws and axes. Less sleep equals the more likely factor that we'll all get wrinkles and dark circles under our eyes and that's far from everybody's attempts to look decent."

"Whatever"

"Ooo, has Shino made Mr. Noomy angry?"

"Really, really angry?"

"Really, really, _really_ angry?"

"And Diluq and I were not that noisy! _C'est impossible!_ We're angels."

"Angels do not think that key lime pies should be thrown at the mailman for fun. That's just a waste of good pastries and someone always ends up with their face dunked in a key lime pie."

"But that's the point, n'est-ce pas?!"

"Oui! It shall be fun!"

"You'll only anger Larry and he's actually a friend of mine."

"Eurh… Ryou, who's this 'Larry' of which you speak?"

"Oui… I do not remember meeting Larry."

I heard a snort (most likely from Ryou) and a snicker from Shino.

"He's the guy who you both want to hurl pies at," came Hyue's bored voice.

"Oh…"

"Larry, The One Who Gives Us Mail."

"Yes, it's really fascinating," I said to join in the conversation.

The limo has finally parked at the mall.

"Oh, my gosh! Hey, Frenchies?" I asked in a fake cheery voice. "Isn't Larry right there?" I pointed in a general direction away from me.

The two twins turned their heads to look for an invisible Larry and they even dropped the leash.

Hallelujah.

I opened the door and scammed.

"And a happy au revoir to you, too!" I shouted as I sprinted into the nearest café.

I look at the café's name on top of its door for a brief moment before running inside for cover.

'The Cat's Eye' was what the café called itself.

Weird name but in a time like this, I'd call it the best named place I've ever been to.

**x-x-x (Meanwhile…) x-x-x**

It took a minute before the whole group of guys in the limo realized that the gust of wind they felt while searching for Mr. Mailman was actually Sakura Kinomoto.

"And a happy au revoir to you, too!" shouted Sakura as she ran into some café next to the mall.

Hyue sighed. "Didn't we tie her to a leash or something?"

"Yeah," replied Ryou and Shino.

All three guys glared at two unfortunate twins.

"Eurh… perhaps… Mistress Sakura's… just playing tag…" said Diluq, who seemed very, very afraid of Hyue.

"Um… oui… oui… that's right. Mistress's it and we're just going to tag her and then we'll all peacefully head into the mall, n'est-ce pas, Diluq ?" came Famelle's nervous words.

The two scardy-cats raced after the sixteen-year-old girl with the distinct pink collar on her neck. The three other guys chased after their two fellow roomies in fear that the two French exchange students were going to endanger nearby humans.

* * *

**Rule 5: Okay…**

**Well, I guess you readers are actually serious about this whole "Survival Guide to Living Among Unusual Roomies" stuff.**

**Uh… as the fifth and final rule… um…the best thing to remember is to watch your back.**

**Make sure you have allies. Enemies are up and about and you need to be on your toes like some twirling ballerina before she breaks that toe of hers.**

**Remember. Ally or foe?**

**Friend or enemy?**

**Best buddy you'll ever meet or the worst person you've ever met since Dad introduced you to Aunt I-Luv-Pinching-Cheeks-And-Aren't-You-Just-The-Cutest-Girl-I've-Ever-Seen?**

**p.s. it's not too late for you to turn back. Run for your lives before it's filled with booby traps and pink collars.**

**Exhibit E:**

**Time of Flashback: **Day 2. Saturday. Between 11:24 a.m. and 11:27 a.m.

Safe, safe, safe.

I walked carefully inside the café instead of running. There was a waiter mopping the floor.

I owed The Cat's Eye a fifty dollars worth of coffees. Maybe I'll order one right now.

My freedom from the Roomies of Doom had expired within seconds ("Mon dieu! Mistress Sakura! Wait up! Why are we playing tag in a café? You are weird!").

The Roomies-Who-Bring-Mayhem-Upon-My-Mansion were coming.

Uh oh. Uh oh. Do something, Sakura. A day free from shopping is riding on this!

I panicked and tried to run but, since everything else that had happened today wasn't fair to me, why it should start anytime soon?

To my great luck, the floor was slippery and wet.

So, of course, I slipped.

Fortunately, I thought fast and quick and reached out for the nearest thing to keep me from falling flat on my butt.

Unfortunately, it was a guy. Specifically, the waiter who was mopping the floors.

He was strong enough to catch me with one arm and still stand while holding onto his mop and I sighed in relief.

I then looked up to see my rescuer's face to thank him for saving me.

I saw messy, brown hair, amber eyes, and a highly amused expression plastered all over the good-looking savior.

"Welcome to The Cat's Eye. My name's Syaoran. I'll be your waiter for today but I'd prefer it if I could take your order while you're seated at a table and I'm not trying to support both your weight and mine from falling down to a very hard and wet floor."

* * *

Hi, there! Long time no see! Valentine Satiguss here and she's glad to say that Happily Roommates is back. Expect to see quicker updates because I've gone ahead and already made more chapters! Tamster will be glad and relieved to know that I'm finally updating after months of excessive napping and hibernation. 

R & R, please!

Happy fanfiction hunting,

Valentine Satiguss (part of the TinkerTodo writing duo)


	5. Preview Of What's To Come

Disclaimer: Don't own the bloody CCS package. Characters and all. Of course, if we did, it'd be pretty sad. Writing fanfics under your own manga series, you know. Then again, we're both a bit of an oddball so that works. Or maybe we're not oddballs. Hm. Don't really know. We've assured each other that however insane we might be, at least we're both insane best friends to the end. The loony bin'll have a kick out of that. Comforting, isn't it?

Lol, anyways, hello fellow readers. Valentine, and I totally want to apologize for our hiatus, and actually we should soon be up and running again for Happily Roommates so yay!!! It's amazing how fast time passed by for both of us, since we just finish taking our finals. o.O Well, below this page is a lovely preview of what's going to happen next. This is only the beginning you guys, more shall be coming. ;D Enjoy!

----------------------------------------------------------

Quite frequently, Syaoran Li felt that perhaps his cousin was born to piss him off every 1.5 seconds.

After all, Syaoran never did like Eriol and according to his perfectly pissed-off brain, Eriol must probably not like him either.

Really, what kind of a best friend/cousin (Eriol liked to point out that he was Syaoran's **only **cousin and friend for that matter) would set them both up to just move into a new mansion?

Of course, Syaoran did always liked to daily nag Eriol about how they should get their own place, how independence away from his four sisters would give him the peace he so rightfully deserves without all the hugs, pinches, and fangirl squeals, and how it would be really cool for them to just live out their lives on their own... but really, it wasn't as if Syaoran was expecting Eriol to just come up to him one morning and launch the two of them into a dialogue something like the following conversation:

"Oh, my cute, little cousin, your dreams have come true! It's almost as if we're in Disneyland right before the fireworks go off! Guess what I've got to say! Come on, now. Guess!"

"You're moving back to England? This soon? Really, Eriol, I know how much you miss England and all and I miss your absence from my presence for the past five years you've been here, but isn't this a bit early? London's just gotten some peace. Why ruin it?"

"Ha ha. Very funny, my cute, little cou–"

"– and stop calling me that!"

"The cousin part?"

"No! The 'cute, little cousin' part!"

"Not while I've got my English blood in me!"

"You're half British, dude. Just half."

"And righteously proud of it! Would you rather I start singing _God Save the Quee_–"

"NO! Not again! Eriol, I swear I'm going to kick you out into the streets if you start singing that! You can't sing, dude! You broke the window last time!"

"That would be most unpleasant considering that I've got us a way to move out of dear Auntie's home a.k.a. The House of Pinching Fangirl Siblings. Really, Syaoran, they bloody near cut off my circulation on my arm the last time they saw me! Blimey."

"See? You've got those Brity-something phrases that nobody knows around here and – wait. You said what?"

"I was going to sing you Britain's anthem?"

"No! The part after that!"

"Your sisters pack a mean hug?"

"Before that, you moron."

"I've got us a rather nice ticket out of your mother's lovely abode?"

"YES! How?"

"See, there's this girl, Tomoyo's her name. She's very cute, by the way, so I call her first–"

"–do I care?"

"Well, yes, yes, you should. She's the reason why we've even got a ticket out of Auntie's house. See, Tomoyo's got this friend of hers. Apparently, said friend's got a bit of a problem…especially with mathematics, the poor girl, slightly stupid if she doesn't even know the quadratic formula, I mean really, it's just simple…"

"I'm not doing her homework."

"That's beside the point. Tomoyo's best friend, this girl, is supposedly short of some roommates for her mansion. Mind you, Tomoyo's cunning skills have already gotten said friend about five or so other roommates. We're lucky numbers six and seven!"

"We're male."

"So?"

"Shouldn't this be against your all high standards and morality?"

"Normally, I'd say that my morality and high standards are jeopardized every time I lie to our science teacher that I've got the clap and am desperate need of using the loo (nobody knows what the clap is around here, do they?) So, my morality's been in danger all the time. Nothing's new."

"Right… so… we can move out of here?"

"Not so fast! See… we've just got this one thing to do first."

"And that is?"

"Said best friend of Tomoyo doesn't want any roommates to begin with."

"So why are we having this conversation again?"

"Because Tomoyo said we're going to bloody well convince her that we're the perfect gentlemen to do– _will you stop laughing at me, Syaoran?!_"

"I'm not laughing. Ha ha. We've actually got to convince that girl to let us move in with her?"

"She's cute. Said best friend is cute."

"Right. Don't care."

"Come on now, she's coming to the Cat's Eye today. In like four hours."

"Not going."

"You've got work. Auntie owns the Cat's Eye, remember? Minimum wage for you every week? 'ello? Anybody in there?"

"Stop hitting my head. I'm going to work."

"Yes! Yes! Blimey, you're going to do it!"

"I'm going to mop the floors, that's what I'm doing. I'm supposed to do it today."

"Partners in crime! That's what! Yes! By golly, this is going to be brilliant! I've even packed up our things already last night after I dozed you with those sleeping pills! Let's go, go, go!!"

"Eriol?"

"Yes, my cute, little cousin?"

"I hate you."

"It's all a part of my charm. I've even gotten Tomoyo's phone number! Oh! I'm going to call her right now. Tell her it's all set! The plan is in motion!"

"What plan?"

"Does my hair look all right? No? Well, yours never does so why am I bothering to ask, anyways? Mine'll probably be fine."

"What plan, Eriol?"

"Blimey, look at the time! Let's go! I'm driving!"

"What plan?!"

"Vroom, vroom! Car's starting! Get in, Syaoran!"

"The plan, Eriol!"

"I'll fill you in on the way! Come on, now!"

"Fine. Wait. Get into the passenger's seat. You're not driving. You're going to drive on the wrong side of the road again, Eriol. Eriol? YOU'RE NOT DRIVING!"

"Vroom, vroom!"

"ERIOL!!!!! FINE! DON'T DRIVE ON THE LEFT SIDE AGAIN!!"

Now, after barely avoiding hitting a truck, a duck, and a very frightened child, Syaoran Li manages to scarcely avoid death no thanks to Eriol Hiiragizawa and begin to mop the black-and-white checkered tiled floors of the Cat's Eye.

"Oh, and Syaoran, darling relative?"

"What now? I already know the plan. You're lucky we won't scare her off with it."

"That's insulting. It was Tomoyo's idea. Anyways, be ready to get the catch of the day."

"What? Mother ordered in more fish? I thought we already had more than enough."

"No, not that. Just, be ready to catch something like… like something with a collar."

"Fish don't wear collars."

"Well, people could."

"Eriol, you're weird."

"No, Syaoran. Really, it's like I've got this sixth sense."

"Sure. I'm really going to catch some girl in a collar today, aren't I?"

"Be smooth when you do. First impressions are everything, darling relative."

"Sure, Eriol. Sure."

"Yup."

"…"

"Pardon me? I didn't hear that."

"You're weird."

"Not for long, Syaoran. Not for long."

And so, when Syaoran happened to actually catch an auburn-haired girl with vibrant green eye and a scowl on her face while sporting a very pink collar, Syaoran gets the impression that Eriol was both pshyic and in need of laying off of the tea.

At the same time Syaoran Li was contemplating on whether Eriol drank happy pills with his tea, a certain pink-collar-wearing Sakura Kinomoto is rather stunned to find herself in the arms of Syaoran Li.

That, my friends, is where Ms. Kinomoto welcomes all to come inside her mind and comment on her rather odd life in the city of Tomoeda, Japan.


End file.
